POWER of ASSOCIATIONS
So much of our lives turn out being mediocre because of the company that we keep.
Jim Rohn, the author, says that we are the average sum, of our 5 most regular contacts and associations. Ever wondered why you were lacking in energy? Do you have a work situation or friends that just drain you? Look carefully at your top 5 associations, taking family unit as one, work as one and so on. Then drill down to the 5 people who are closest to you. What is the general conversation that you have with them? Do you find that you to are downloading your woes and tales? What positives do you add to others lives? Or are you living the life you want with all the right people around you. Life really is a game of chess.
If we are really the average of our 5 associations then we need to evaluate and re invent them.
Some you have to keep and the decision then is how to manage them. There are no perfect people in the world and we all tend to attract the impossible in our families, at work and in our personal lives. It is too easy to blame the other person who is merely there to be a mirror and reflect back the characteristics that you are judging. If you say that someone is irresponsible, then ask your self to list the occasions where you have been exactly that. I am not saying condone such behaviour however look at what you can learn. It is too easy to take on the victim role and again look at yourself and ask how many times this pattern is playing out and what your role has been in it. Many times I perhaps judge myself harsher than the situation because it is a too familiar scenario.
So decide in the,’ have to keeps of associations,’ how you can add a positive flavour or if that is impossible then just do your duty.
Now get out the chopping knife and decide on who has to go – just like ,’eviction time,’ review the value that these associations have in your life.
Making new contacts, new friends and starting new hobbies and areas of interest where you grow as a person will mean that you can expand your list of associations. The best thing for me each week is meeting new people, seeing where there is synergy in business and just learning more. Sales people should review their collected business cards every week and decide what to do with them. Either enter into the database and leave it there. Send a follow up email. Think of how to engage with the person for business opportunities.
Conversation in this day of face book, cell phones, television and computers is so dead! People don’t know how to be entertaining or witty or interesting. I think these skills need to be re learnt. Very few people have a good enough vocabulary to play on word meanings in conversation
What kind of life do you have? Is it mediocre – meaning ordinary or average? Instead of saying you need more money or a lucky breakthrough, take a close look at how you make decisions. If you had the money would your associations and decisions suddenly change? Sure you could end up living in a better flat or drive a better car or even have a better job but I want you to think about how you would manage the above. You have to work towards the position you want to be in. See how you will behave when you are there. The advice 20 years ago was always dress for the part that you want to have. I was the Sales Director at Sheraton Hotel in Harare and we all worked long hours, so I would often take a change of clothes for the evening shift and freshen up, especially if there were large events. I remember one journalist saying to me that he had watched me and that I was always on duty and dressed up! I never earned the money to spend a fortune on clothes and shoes etc but I always made sure I had the right quality of clothes and shoes , the right look for the occasion and a smile on my face. My life was the hotel and so through associations and interactions had many stimulating conversations and met many interesting people.
It is amusing that many times we are looking ahead, to when we will be someone, somewhere and yet the conversation now or person that you meet today, if you put everything into it could give you that spark and interest, to do better things with your life. People fascinate me. I love the Barbara Streisand melody, ‘People who need People are the luckiest People in the World,’ and I have learnt to integrate all my experiences good and bad and know that I can dust myself off and go and meet a whole new gang of people. A business colleague, Godfrey, said that he is sure he could send me to the Congo and I would find my way! I know that this is my strength and I use it!
So this week look at the 5 associations in your life and decide if they are what you need and want.
Life is indeed too short....to accept mediocrity.
__________________________________________________________________________________Carol and Mubita Nawa team up to present a Sales Training course on the 29th September,2010 that challenges you to,’ Create the right Impression,’ to close sales and bring in business. Email : ideas@carolwhiteconsultancy.com. www.carolwhiteconsultancy.com to book your place.