THE BLACK DOG
THE BLACK DOG
As children we would threaten to run away from home. My mother would tell us to go but there would be a big black dog that would be where we wanted to go and it would stop us and we would have to come back. The story was told that my mother’s youngest brother, Ivan, ran away from home and wanted to join the navy. My grandmother prayed for a big black dog to stop him. Ivan arrived home running and out of breath and when asked what happened he said he couldn’t board the ship because there was a big black dog that stopped him.
Often I pray for the very same black dog to teach someone a lesson and the amusing thing is that I discover that the dog is teaching me a lesson.
Taking a leaf from the book,” A Course in Miracles,” Lesson 8, I want to share the concept: “Above all else I want to see things differently.” This means that one is prepared to withdraw preconceived thoughts about a situation. Also not define the situation based on previous experience. Asking what something means instead of telling it from our viewpoint can change our attachment to it.
By repeating “Above all else I want to see things differently,” we are committing to having an open mind about a situation or person. Everything is showing us something if we choose to be open minded about it and not tarnish it with our own opinions.
These exercises help us to see what the ultimate purpose of the universe is. By releasing our judgement of every day issues we will then start to see the purpose in them.
The task is for us to set aside 2 minutes, 6 times a day and actually repeat: “Above all else I want to see things differently.” Then apply this thinking to whatever you see and whatever you are thinking.
The practicing and repetition of this will help in seeing differently. Answers will start coming through to situations where you are stuck.
May 7th triggered thoughts and memories. It was 3 years since my foot and ankle break and it was 30 years ago that I was married and 20 years that I had been divorced. May 25th is also the fifth anniversary of my mother’s death. Using the technique described above I asked myself if I could just step back and with an open mind, look at these milestones, without creating my version of them.
Am I going to continue thinking that I will only attract the wrong men or will I look at it differently and say that the failed marriage and relationships have made me stand on my own two feet? My values are freedom and justice. So looking at the 30 years since that marriage I decided to value the fact that my ex husband was a charismatic, entrepreneur and taught me to reach for the stars. He made an impact and I have reaped the benefit. I will focus on that and not the fact that he was a serial womaniser.
The trauma of breaking my foot and having an open fracture was a personal encounter with God.
For twenty one days when I was in a critical condition and had a threatened amputation of my foot which was going septic and not regenerating tissue quickly enough – I heard the whisper of God in my ear in every moment. The voice would guide me on my healing path and give me direction and encouragement. After the twenty one days when the catheter was removed and I had had 4 operations, I was in a stable condition and the voice went away. I kept waiting for it. I would ask a question and it was so amazing because there would be someone who would give me an answer. I learnt that God is with us all in every moment and when we are open to receive we do get answers.
So the experience of 54 days in hospital changed my perspective on what was important to me. I decided to remain in Zambia and could of been in Tanzania. . It was my purpose to remain here. I made choices that changed my lifestyle, that have not been easy but have taught me necessary lessons.
My mother’s death haunted me because she fell, as she was supposedly having a heart attack. The hospital called me and said, “Mrs White is dead, we found her in a pool of blood on the floor and do you want to identify her body.” I was traumatised and as I walked along the corridor of the hospital I asked God, why me dealing with this, first Dad’s death and now Mom. Where was someone to help me? The nurse that had found my mother was so hysterical and crying so much that I sent her away and went into the room on my own, where my mother lay in the bed. An enormous bump on her head upset me so much. Did she have pain, did she know what was happening, was it neglect from the hospital, why didn’t I stay with her as my heart had wanted and so it went on. I asked the hospital for a report. I consulted the doctor etc. This past Mother’s Day, I said in my thoughts – “Mom I wish you were here.” A thought came back to me saying, “No thanks Kharks.” (my family nickname) so I chose to free myself from the trauma of this and look at it differently. There was nothing I could have done and really it was just Mom’s time. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.
So we can get caught up in all our experiences and I am sharing this with readers because you all have your stories. It is possible to look at them differently and move to another level of understanding. If I can so can you! Let’s practise: “Above all else I want to see differently.”
Email: ideas@carolwhiteconsultancy.com