WHAT ABOUT IDENTITY?
When asked how to describe yourself you will list your job title, marital status, number of children, name of your business and even your car. Is that truly your identity? In training sessions I ask the team to pair up – hold hands and look into the other persons eyes and recite, ‘I am ......, ‘ until the descriptions run out and then, ‘I am a human being, or I am a child of the universe or I am the child of the Most Mighty God, I am creative, I am a good listener,’ starts to filter through. The purpose of the exercise is to strip away how we describe ourselves in a very superficial way.
What is it that holds your identity together. If you think that you will only be happy driving a Mercedes Benz, living in Leopard’s Hill and being the MD of a telecommunications company, you may very well be disappointed if you did get all three. Are you prepared for what it takes to manage these 3 aspirations.
I have been engaging with University students over the past week and I was interested to see that out of a group of 40 only 5 students were able to introduce themselves with conviction of what they wanted to do after their studies. There were only 5 that had, a bright eyed, bushy tailed vibe about them. I told them that they could close their note books, stop slouching and sms’ing, sit up and participate in a debate. Now this was a new experience. In the end we had only 12 students left. For them it was an ‘eye opener.’ They realised that their identity is not attached to the degree programme. It is not a magic wand to a job in the market place. Education is nothing without integrating that knowledge into every day business and cultivating a work ethic whilst studying. A project or proposal is nothing without a marketing plan and how one presents oneself.
University students should be opinion leaders. It should be about challenging the status quo. Parents are not doing their children any favours by forcing them into higher learning. It is not for everyone. Sometimes experience with a diploma is far more valuable. Why should there be sweet wrappers on the floor in a varsity lecture room? Who is stopping the students from ensuring that every class room has a simple, card board box, for litter. Pick up the litter.
I am hammering on about identity because I want young people to see that its not about what life is after their studies, its not about the first job that they get or which industry that appeals to them. It has to be about a burning passion to get up each day and create a path way for their generation to walk on. As parents – we have had our time. We are there to guide and counsel only. The youth have to live their own lives and be responsible and accountable. The drinking and dating and nonsense that goes on is because there is too much pocket money and too little recreation and community facilities. For those privileged few think about what you could do with the excess money that you have. You could start a library in your village – or buy cell phones for a class of grade 8 students who have good results. Turf out the clothes, shoes and give someone a start in life.
As a youngster I remember belonging to junior rotary and there was a ‘buy a brick, ‘ campaign for the community centre. I would take my list and dutifully knock on doors of apartments around 17,30 in Bulawayo, when families were cooking supper. I was quiet and reserved in those days but had a passion for this campaign and my sheets were always sold out. Only because I believed in the project.
It really is about your identity and how you are naturally . Maybe its not cool to knock on doors these days but I would say that many people would be interested in hearing a university student out. Have a ‘litter bug’ campaign and recycle waste and join the city on the clean up campaign. Have a voice. Do something . Have an opinion for goodness sake, on everything and nothing.
I discovered a handbag, in MY CHOICE at Manda Hill today – it is turquoise leather with a huge rosette in the centre , round handles and the shape of an old fashioned purse. I fell in love with it. Then I said to myself,’ does it fit with my identity – what sort of person carries a bag like this?’ Its not an everyday bag – but then why not? I realised that I just had to write this article about identity which encompasses how we view ourselves and how we think others do to. I mean really – who would even look twice at me carrying that bag. Would you?
Email: ideas@carolwhiteconsultancy.com
www.carolwhiteconsultancy.com